There’s a question I ask myself and others, that might be helpful when you’re feeling stuck and want to see more possibilities.
When clients are feeling constricted by their situation, I ask them to forget about the limitations for a moment, and instead, I ask a question that begins, “If you could have it any way you want…”
Once I know what their heart really desires I ask, “Why?” That answer tells me who they want to be, what they want to give, and how they want to experience life and themselves.
So even if they can’t get everything exactly how they want it, the possibilities open up for them to be more fully expressed and fulfilled by making choices that match those deeper desires.
The power of this question first struck me a few years ago when my assistant and I were working out her role and I started by asking her, “If you could have it any way you want, what would your job be?”
She paused. For a while. Then said, “I’ve never thought that way. I’ve always looked at what’s probable and tried to want that”.
Her answer was eye-opening to me. I thought it was brilliant that she could catch that lifelong pattern in that moment. By pausing and giving herself more time, she was able to discover what she really wanted from this job. By sharing it with me, I was able to provide more of what made her happy and brought out the best in her. She was involved in and contributed more than I would have thought wanted. We both benefitted.
Don’t think that she loves every moment of what she does. There are tasks that aren’t her favorite thing to do, but by starting with the question, “If you could have it any way you want…” she got clearer on what she wants from her work and I look for ways to make the work match that as best I can. Let me say it again, we both benefit.
So when you’re facing a challenge or just making plans, try asking yourself, “If I could have it anyway I want…”
By the way, this works great with business partners, life partners, and families. Each person answers it for themselves. Then they share why they answered that way.
Asking “Why?” is a critical part of this process.
You’ll develop a deeper understanding of each other’s hopes and dreams. Even if everyone can’t get it exactly the way they want it, you’ll know ways to bring out the best in each other.
If you’re about to set big goals and make big plans for 2023 My Free Masterclass can help you get clear on what you really want in about 40 minutes.