The Best Advice I’ve Ever Given

My husband is a smart man. He often asks my advice.  ~ Smart right? Other times he is quite clear he doesn’t want my advice. ~ I told you he was smart.

A while ago he asked me what I thought he should do about a particular situation. Rather than give him my advice, I asked him a question:

What would you do if you were the man you want to be?

He got quiet. He breathed. The answer was right there. He knew what to do.

You see the person you most want to be is already who you are … at your core. The real you, the best you, is already inside you, patiently waiting for your attention.

Conditioned behaviour keeps all of us from accessing our true selves from time to time. Fear drives us outside ourselves for answers. We want to fit in, get ahead and please others. We’re in constant pursuit, acquiring and consuming, to overcome our belief that we are not enough.

But there is a way through the madness and confusion of it all, and the way to get through is to go in.

When faced with a choice, try this:

  • Feel your feet on the ground. (Really, bring your attention to the place where you connect with the earth.)
  • Close your eyes.
  • Breathe slowly and deeply into your body for a few breaths.
  • Then ask yourself:

What would I do if I was the person I really want to be?

Your mind will want to analyze and judge conflicting ideas, presenting cases for and against each one. That’s the mind’s job. It needs to rationalize. Let each thought come and go.

Bring your focus back to your breath. Feel your answer. With enough practice you’ll start to feel who you really are. And you’ll know what to do.

photo by Cheryl Kaufman. drawing by her favourite five year old.

4 thoughts on “The Best Advice I’ve Ever Given

  1. That’s a great question Debra! I haven’t really had that top of mind as a way of articulating thoughts and questions recently. I am going to put it in my back pocket. Thanks for sharing it!

  2. Through all the years , when faced with a decision of conscience, it would be:
    What would Sting do?
    What would Prince do?
    What would Cal do (Ripken, that is)?
    Who knew, all along, what would my perfect me do?
    great post Deb. Love to Marko

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