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Tag: #The30DayLoveExplosion

It’s never too late to Love.

Did you forget to drop a love bomb yesterday?

Have you forgotten for several days?

Hey, it happens. As Malcolm London says, “Even the richest man can never purchase yesterday”. You can’t get it back so let it go.

All you have is today – this very moment. And there will never be a better time to love. So drop a love bomb right now!

We often waste too much time regretting things we didn’t do. That regret about the past can keep you from creating a better future. That better future is not off in the distance. It begins right now, in this very moment, and continues as moments strung together … like patio lanterns.

So if you missed a few days of Love Bombing, let it go, begin again. It is never too late too love.

A few years ago I had the pleasure of sharing a meal with the young poet, Malcolm London. I was impressed by his poise, elegance, intellect, humility, and mostly his big beautiful heart. I love his poems. This one’s for you.

 

Let it go. Begin again. It’s never too late to love.

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10 Love Bomb Ideas.

I thought you might like some ideas for dropping love bombs.

  1. Pitch a sign on their lawn for all their neighbours to see.
  2. Slip a tip to the local barrista to read your love bomb out loud when they call your person’s name.* Wouldn’t it be great to hear – “Jeff your latte is ready ~ and Diane loves you for being a wonderful listener.”
  3. Write it in chalk on the sidewalk. Or somewhere else conspicuous.
  4. Say it in a foreign language. Then they have to figure out what you said.
  5. Hide notes in places you know they’ll find. One person chose a neat freak – so she wrote a love bomb on a piece of paper and threw it in the backseat of her car, knowing she’d have to pick it up.
  6. Get different co-workers to say it to them throughout the day.*
  7. Text it. Pin it. Facebook it. Email it. Phone it in. Say it in person.
  8. Post a note in a shop window (or several) in their neighbourhood.*
  9. Write it on your body. Write it on their body.photo(138)
  10. Just Do It!

And however you do it – Have FUN!

*Include others. Even strangers. You’ll be amazed how willing people are to help spread the love.

 

 

 

Your Love Makes a Difference

It’s wonderful when you get to see and feel the difference your love is making in someone’s life. It’s great to see them bask in the glow of your love. It’s fun to know you’ve put a spring in someone’s step, helped them see the best in themselves and shine their own light a little brighter.

It’s awesome when this happens, but what about the times when you give your love to another, openly, consistently, joyful and …. nothing.   What then?

We don’t always get to see the difference our love makes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not making a difference.

Alice*  is a body-worker. She’s been in practice for many years. A few weeks ago she told me that when she was first starting out she worked in a clinic and took whoever they gave her. There was a older woman who came to her who was grumpy all the time, and no fun to work on. There seemed to be no pleasing this woman. Even though she didn’t seem happy with the treatments she kept returning. Since Alice was new she kept working on her, even though it was unpleasant.

Then one day, before the grump arrived, Alice realized something. What this woman really needed was love. So Alice decided to love her that day. She didn’t say anything different, and she worked on her body in the same way. But as she did it she loved her. She had no good or easy reason to love this woman – she was a bitch. Alice drew from the love that was inside her already, and it was there because it’s always there. Love is what we are. By tapping into that core Alice was able to love this woman without saying a word.  The session was done and the woman left.

While Alice prepped her room for another client the receptionist came in and said, “What did you do to her in here? She was an angel.”

Alice had the good fortune to hear second hand that her love had made a difference. We don’t all get that gift. So when you’re giving your love bombs and you don’t know if it’s working – TRUST.

Trust that your love is making a difference. Even if it’s only making a difference in you.

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Love is what you are, and by actively accessing that love you’re accessing the truth of who you are.

*Alice: The name isn’t real. But her love is!

Expectations & The 30 Day Love Explosion

You were excited to start The 30 Day Love Explosion. You began dropping bombs on your chosen one. You noticed how good it felt to express yourself. How easy it was to find something new that you love about this person each day. How fun it was to shower them with your love. It caused you to drop out of your ordinary fast pace for a moment, pay close attention and become present. You appreciated that. It was both joyful and deep.

Then after a week or so you noticed a change. You were less excited about dropping love bombs. You felt disappointed. You began withholding a bit. Little grudges were starting to edge their way in. You even thought about dropping the whole stupid thing. What changed?

In most cases the answer is the same: You changed. You began this adventure by following your heart. You felt the impulse and ran with it. You focused on what you love about your chosen person and you felt enlivened by it. You shared what you loved about them and it made you happy.

Somewhere along the way, subtly, and perhaps without you even noticing your focus shifted from what you love and how to express it, to what you expected in return. Your person didn’t respond the ways you hoped or expected them to. You were disappointed. They let you down. Maybe you even expected them to disappoint you, and so you feel vindicated, but that’s not the same as feeling happy or loving. So how do you get back on track?

First, you gotta own it. Your disappointment has nothing to do with the person you chose.

Your disappointment is never caused by what someone does or doesn’t do. It comes from your expectations of what they should or shouldn’t do.

As soon as you realize this you can take the blame off of them. You can use this as a chance to explore expectations you didn’t even know you had. You can examine expectations you have around love and giving. Do you give to get something in return? Do you withhold if you don’t get what you expected?

Where did those expectations begin? So many of our beliefs and expectations began before we could even form sentences. Yet we carry them throughout our lives and let them run our behaviours unconsciously. Becoming aware of them is the first step to transforming.

If you’ve been feeling disappointed by your person’s response (or lack of it), know that it’s not their reactions to your love bombs that’s disappointing you. It’s that your expectations are causing your disappointment.

So, what are you going to do about it? Use this opportunity as a chance to grow your love. Whenever you notice your disappointment rising, know that your expectations are at work. You’re expecting something because there’s something you want, something you need. What is it? Can you be curious and loving and gentle with yourself, as you sit in the discomfort of your own wants and needs?

And when you discover what you want and need, can you give it to yourself – Before you give love to anyone else, can you love yourself?

People don’t disappoint you. Disappointment comes from your expectations of people.

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Drop a Love Bomb and Feel Better

Want a good reason to Drop a Love Bomb today?

Do it for your brain! and not just your brain… do it for every cell in your body. Love will change you from the inside.

For days you’ve been paying attention to one person with the intention of remembering or discovering something you love about them. Feeling that love. Then expressing it to them. I told you this would benefit you. Maybe you’re noticing that. Maybe not yet. But here’s some of what’s going on. You are changing your brain.

Neural pathways are routes of communication in your body. As you learned throughout your life, certain pathways became well developed. These neural pathways became the roadmap of how you think and behave.

Imagine that for many years you’ve been walking a path from your house to your friend’s house. With all the wear and tear over time this path has become wide and flat and easy to walk. You’ve traveled back and forth for so long that you no longer think about it.  It’s automatic ~ A habit. A neural pathway is like that path.

By practicing the 30 Day Love Explosion you are forming a new habit, developing new neural pathways. It’s like taking a new path to your friend. It’s through a beautiful forest, full of lush plants, and gorgeous fragrant flowers. It’s a much more enjoyable path. But there’s resistance. You need to cut the path, you’re not totally sure of it yet. It’s not as fast as the old route. But over time as you keep walking this new path, your resistance will fade, the path will become clearer and easier to walk. Eventually it will become automatic and voila – you’ve got a new habit.

Your new habit is love, and love creates a chemical change in your body. By deliberately paying attention each day to what you love about the person you chose, you are developing neural pathways in your brain that are feeding your cells with dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin and more of the yummy love chemicals that make you feel so dang good!

So if you’ve been feeling good during the 30 Day Love Explosion now you know why.

Some of you may be wondering “If it feels so good, why am I not doing it daily? Why do I forget? How come I find excuses not to?”

Good questions. Just like cutting a new path through a beautiful forest is more work than walking along the old path you are use to, your cells are use to the old well-worn neuropathways. Even if those old pathways are feeding your cells stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, your cells have become use to them and will get their information from these well developed pathways out of “habit”.  It’s easier.  It’s the equivalent of walking to your friend’s house on the old familiar path before you even realize you’re on it.

It takes deliberate practice to stay on this new path. So, don’t beat yourself up if you forget some days. Don’t worry if you feel resistance to this new way. Stick with it. Practice it deliberately.

Know that you’re practicing a new habit that creates love pathways in your brain and  feeds your cells with feel-good chemicals. You really are doing this for yourself.

Here’s to you and your daily practice. Bombs Away!!!

A keepsake of The 30 Day Love Explosion

Save Your Love Bombs

My first idea for you comes from my friend Anne who wrote to me saying that she chose her teenage daughter Vanessa, but since she’s a teenager going through all that tough stuff teenage girls go through, not the least of which is the need to pull away from their mothers, Anne felt that love bombing her every day with something specific might actually annoy Vanessa. (I remember being a teenager. She’s probably right!)  And the last thing Anne wants  is push her daughter away. So, what’s a mom to do?

I recommended that Anne write something she’d like to say to Vanessa every day. She could write it in a journal or just on slips of paper that she keeps in an envelope, a box, or a jar. Then in a few months time, when Vanessa leaves for college she can slip it into her luggage, or mail it with a care package. That way, when she’s thousands of miles from home and in need of mom’s love, she can read the notes ~ Savouring them one a day, or binging on them all at once.

Don’t let someone’s resistance to receiving, block your desire to give love

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So thanks to Anne, I came up with an idea for you: (and you don’t need to be dealing with a sensitive teenager to use it)

  • During the 30 days of June: As well as telling your person 30 things you love about them, write down what you say each day on a slip of paper and keep it in a jar. Keep the jar to yourself.
  • At the end of the month: give your person the jar full of your little love notes.
  • They can keep it somewhere they’ll see it regularly to remember the many ways you love them.
  • In the future they can pull a random note out every day and let the love bombs continue.

What are some of your ideas for the 30 day love explosion? Please share them in the comments.

Love Debra

*All names have been changed to protect the love.

Pay Love Forward

Let me be clear about one thing:
The person you choose to love bomb during The 30 Day Love Explosion does NOT need to choose you!!!

I just learned that some of you want to do this but the person you chose isn’t sure about this whole whacky idea, so they don’t want to commit.

That’s perfectly fine. Love Bomb them anyway.

I never meant for this to be reciprocal, though it may be that way for some of you.  The idea of this is to Pay Love Forward. You are doing this for the person you choose with nothing expected in return. You’ll find that you’re also doing it for yourself. By feeling and expressing love, you’ll experience more love in your life.

It may not come from the person you have chosen. That’s perfectly alright. You’ll be tapping into the love that is already inside you. You’ll experience more of the truth that ~ You Are Love.

Pay close attention to the person you’ll be love bombing, look for the many reasons you love them.

Also, pay attention to yourself. What do you notice about yourself, as you pay love forward? It may be wonderful. It may not all be pretty. If you can remain curious and loving with yourself it may teach you much about the person who needs your love more than anyone else – You!

Who to Choose for The 30 Day Love Explosion?

How do you choose the right person for The 30 Day Love Explosion?

That question assumes you could choose the wrong person to Love Bomb for the month of June. And I don’t think that’s true.

1)  You may choose the person closest to you. The person you love the most, feel best about, and already shower with love. Anything wrong with? Nope. Not at all.

In the days when I managed lots of staff I made sure everyone had the same basic training, but once I discovered someone’s natural talents and interests I focused on that. I went the extra mile with them in the field of their strengths and desires. If a staff member delighted customers and generated more sales than others, I got them extra sales training. If someone was a wizard with numbers, organization or layout and design, I supported those skills and interests. I saw that by giving more attention to the areas where staff were naturally skilled and interested they improved exponentially.

I provided the same basic training to everyone, but trying to turn a numbers person into my top sales person was never going to give me the same payback as supporting my sales people to really rock my customers’ world. Later in life I learned that this approach has a name. It’s called the 80/20 rule. So, if you focus your love on the person you love the most you are likely to experience exponential rewards.

Those little daily love bombs, dropped into an already soaring relationship, can blow it into the stratosphere.

 

2) You may choose a person you struggle with. That person you care about, who rattles your cage and triggers your emotions. Any good reason to pour your love into a struggle? Sure there is.

When a relationship rattles you it brings stress in your life. And stress gets in the way of you being your best. Since it’s not your job to change the other person, and it’s a total waste of your time, you might as well focus on yourself. By noticing one thing you love about this person every day you’ll focus less on the aspects that trigger you.

Often the person who triggers you is reflecting something back to you that you don’t like about yourself. They may be saying the same things your own internal critic tells you. They may be doing something you wish you had the courage to do, or something you wish you would stop doing. Often the person who bugs you the most has something to teach you about yourself.

By finding 30 things you love about them, you may discover new things you love about yourself, and that can quiet your inner critic and give you the courage to become the person you are meant to be.

The person you choose for #the30dayloveexplosion is the right person!

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