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How to Rock Your New Year’s Resolution.

Fresh Start. Blank Page. New Beginning.

Do you love the possibilities each New Year brings?

If so, it’s because it resonates with your limitless self. That expansive essence of you that is the source of all possibilities. Yippeee 🙂

If not, it’s because you’ve experienced enough unfulfilled resolutions already. Meh 🙁

The positive potential inspires many of us to create a New Year’s resolution. But how many times have you resolved to make a profound change January 1, only to find that you’ve forgotten what it was, come June?

If that’s been your experience, don’t feel bad. That’s how it is for most of us.

92% of people who make a New Year’s resolution fail to stick with it. They begin full of anticipation and expectation that this year will be better than the last. They commit to creating the change they want in their lives. But the odds of them sticking with their resolution are about the same as beating the house in Vegas.

In many cases your chances of winning in Vegas are better. I’m not exaggerating.

With these Seven Steps you’ll join the RARE 8% and ROCK YOUR RESOLUTION:

1. DECIDE what you want, by FEELING what it will give you. 

  • Knowledge doesn’t motivate change. You already know that eating healthy, staying hydrating, getting enough sleep and exercise would exponentially improve your life, but do you always do it?
  • Feelings motivate change. Everything you do is consciously or unconsciously motivated by how you want to feel. Imagine you’re successfully living out this resolution and notice how it feels.
  • Forget about what you should do. Focus on what you want to do.

 

2. CHOOSE A DAILY ACTION that would give you the results you want.

  • Resolutions often focus on the result: I’m going to lose 5 lbs. Get in Shape. Start my own business. Be  more peaceful. These are great goals, but they won’t direct your daily actions.
  • Determine ONE ACTION, that if done daily, would give you the result you want.
  • You may already know what that is. Most of us do. But we bury it under an ever-growing list of other things we need to do first.
  • If the answer doesn’t come to you right away, spend a bit of quiet time asking what the one thing is. It will come to you.

 

3. MAKE IT SIMPLE AND SPECIFIC

  • You’ll know it’s specific and simple enough if you can do it every day NO MATTER WHAT.
  • Example: Rather than committing to doing yoga every day, the simple and specific version could be: “I will do at least 4 asanas every day” or “I will do at least 3 minutes of yoga every day”.
  • It’s tempting to make a bold commitment, but you’re setting yourself up for success if you under-commit and over-deliver.
  • You can always do more than you’ve committed to, but you’ve made it easy to do what you said you’d do.

 

4. COMMIT 100% TO DOING IT EVERY SINGLE DAY.

  • This is why you’re making it as simple as possible. You have to be able to do it every day. No matter what.
  • You can do more than you’ve committed to any time you want.
  • If you’re commitment isn’t for every day, commit solidly to the days you’re going to do it.

 

5. FIND A CUE

  • We are all creatures of habit, and our habits are cued by things that come before them.
  • That’s why people who give up smoking find it harder when they have a coffee or a drink. The drink cues the habit to light up a cigarette.
  • Create a cue for your habit so you’ll be reminded of it every day.
  • In the example of yoga, you could roll out your yoga mat every night so you’ll see it when you wake up.

 

6. RECORD YOUR PROGRESS.

  • Make it a simple process of recording that you did the action you committed to.
  • You’re more likely to stick with it when you track your progress.
  • It can be as simple as checking a box on your calendar. Or writing a sentence in a journal.
  • You may want to report your progress to a friend, or group of friends, and stay accountable to each other.

 

7. CLIMB BACK ON AS SOON AS YOU FALL OFF.

  • Even with commitment, cues, and a buddy system, you may find that you just blow it one day.
  • As soon as that happens, get back at it the very next day.
  • As a girl who fell off a horse at a young age, I can tell you I wish someone had made me get right back on.

 

Most of your life is lived by habits. You’d go crazy if you had to decide everything every day: should I eat breakfast at home or out? what should I eat? should I brush my teeth? should I flush the toilet? should I wash my hands? should I dry them? what route should I take to work? what should I wear to bed? which side should I sleep on? Your brain goes on automatic for most tasks, to free up your energy for more creative endeavors.

Your habits determine the quality of your life.

By consciously repeating new activities that will become unconscious habits over time, you’re creating the life you want. Research shows that when you master one new healthy habit, it leads to more and more healthy habits.

So choose one new simple habit as a resolution, follow the seven steps, and enjoy your life in the 8%.

Have a great holiday and a wonderful new year.

Love Debra.

Be Willing to Fail

When someone asks:

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”:

Do you get inspired?
Does your heart race as you think of the one great thing you’ll do immediately?
Do you rush off and begin it?
Do you dream of the wildly successful life you’ll have because you did that great thing, knowing you couldn’t fail?

Or do you think “Wait a minute, there’s no guarantee I won’t fail.”

And tuck that dream back into your pocket.

Now that question, that’s been asked millions of times, is a perfectly good question because it gets you thinking beyond your fear of failure for a moment. And sometimes your fear is so great it stops you from imagining what you might do. But the moment you begin to imagine yourself attempting this great thing you want to do, something happens.  You realize you might just fail.

It’s a different way to approach it. Rather than imagining your assured success, which feeds your desire for certainty, which is fueled by your fear, you’ll connect with the love that is urging you to act. And I’ll just bet there is something you’d love to do, but fear of failure is holding you back. It may be a passing thought, a flicker of an image at the edge of your peripheral vision, or a longing that won’t let you go. There is something you want to experience, something within you that wants to be expressed. But your fear of failure gets in the way.

What if you change your relationship with failure so that instead of shunning it, fearing it and avoiding it, (poor failure – nobody likes it), you see it as an important part of experiencing life. So much can be gained from failing. Though you think you might die of embarrassment, most failures won’t actually kill you.

I’m willing to fail for love.

I play the ukelele badly. And it makes me so happy every time I do. Yes, I would like to be better, and every time I hit a wrong note, (which is more often than not) the perfectionist in me cringes a little, but the joy of playing it keeps me failing my way through song after song.

I garden without having a clue what I’m doing. I rip up lawn and level dirt and plant food and flowers, and lots of it fails. But more of it thrives. The joy I get from sitting out there listening to nature, feeling the life growing around me and sharing my bounty with butterflies, birds, bees and neighbours makes me happy to be alive.

My first marriage failed. It ended in divorce. But we loved and still love each other. We are friends. The marriage no longer served us. And love made me willing to marry again ~ I’m risking failure for love. (ps. I don’t really think my first marriage failed. It just transitioned into something else)

One of my businesses failed. I started a business in an industry that didn’t exist when we were creating it. We raised capital during the financial crisis of 2008. We failed by missing every goal we set. But I stayed connected to the love that birthed this business into the world, grew closer to my investors through the struggles, and stretched myself more than I thought I could.

I’ve also had lots of success, but within everyone one of those successes are failures big and small. If I’m not failing I’m not challenging myself and growing, and neither are you.

What are you willing to fail for?