Love Bombs – Debra Joy

Why Focus on One? The 30 Day Love Explosion

In the age of multi-tasking, multi-plex theaters and multi-orgasms you’d think I’d ask you to Love Bomb as many people as possible during The 30 Day Love Explosion, because more is obviously better, right? Wrong.

The 30 Day Love Explosion is a time to Focus.

That’s why you pick just one person.

Did you ever pull out a magnifying glass on a sunny day when you were a kid? If you held it over a piece of wood you could burn your name it in. There was very little effort involved. All you had to do was hold the magnifying glass in one place. The glass amplified the light, intensifying the heat. The cool thing was this intense amplification of sun in one spot didn’t diminish it anywhere else. Magnifying the sun in your backyard, didn’t pull the sun away from your neighbour’s yard. The sun still shone as brightly everywhere else.

Love works the same way.

When you focus your love on one person, you amplify it, without diminishing your love for others.

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Still not sure why you should bother?

All of us have limited attention capacities. That’s why it’s illegal to use your cell phone while driving. So if you try to Love Bomb several people for the month of June you are more likely to get distracted and forget. You may even become overwhelmed. You are less likely to succeed. Focusing on just one person sets you up for success.

Throughout June you’ll be paying specific attention to one person. You’ll observe, you’ll listen and you’ll reflect back what you love. Where your attention goes your life follows. So when you focus on love you amplify it, not just in this relationship, but in all areas of your life. While focusing on one person you’ll find yourself noticing things you love about others, about yourself and about your life. The quality of your life is not determined by what happens, but by your perspective of what happens. When your perspective is shifted towards love it will impact the rest of your life.

Your love is like the sun beaming out into the world. Focusing on one person is like using a magnifying glass, and your love becomes a laser beam. It is amplified, with the power to change the object of your love forever. And none of this diminishes your love shining in the world.

I’ll see you soon, Debra

Join The 30 Day Love Explosion

It’s Simple. It’s Deep.

And it’s completely Free…

just like LOVE itself.

There are 4 Easy Steps:

1) Pick one person to focus on during the month of June. Just one. It could be your partner, parent, child, sibling, best friend, or even someone you’re struggling with.

2) Beginning JUNE 1st you’re going to tell that person one reason you love them*. You’re going to be specific. Then every day for 30 days you’ll give a unique reason you love them. No repeats. I call these Love Bombs.

3) This means you’re going to have to pay attention to them, and your feelings. You’ll probably start with the obvious and then notice things you’ve been taking for granted. You may have to draw on memories to rekindle something that’s been lost.

4) Express it any way you want. Say it, text it, leave love notes, get it tattooed on your body, use sign language, spell it in sprinkles on a cake…. get creative. Or keep it simple. Doing it daily is all that matters.

*If you choose a co-worker or your bus driver or the guy who walks your pet lizard it may be totally weird to say “love”. No problem. Say “appreciate, admire, respect, enjoy, am in awe of…” There are so many to express love.

Here’s the best part. The more you give love the more you get. Just by feeling and expressing the love you have for someone, you reap the benefits. It will increase your dopamine and oxytocin, and decrease your stress hormones. It can lower your blood pressure, help you sleep better, reduce your cravings for sugar, enhance your creativity, and even help you lose weight. And it can make you feel more generous and grateful.
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It’s never too late to Love.

Did you forget to drop a love bomb yesterday?

Have you forgotten for several days?

Hey, it happens. As Malcolm London says, “Even the richest man can never purchase yesterday”. You can’t get it back so let it go.

All you have is today – this very moment. And there will never be a better time to love. So drop a love bomb right now!

We often waste too much time regretting things we didn’t do. That regret about the past can keep you from creating a better future. That better future is not off in the distance. It begins right now, in this very moment, and continues as moments strung together … like patio lanterns.

So if you missed a few days of Love Bombing, let it go, begin again. It is never too late too love.

A few years ago I had the pleasure of sharing a meal with the young poet, Malcolm London. I was impressed by his poise, elegance, intellect, humility, and mostly his big beautiful heart. I love his poems. This one’s for you.

Let it go. Begin again. It’s never too late to love.

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10 Love Bomb Ideas.

I thought you might like some ideas for dropping love bombs.

Pitch a sign on their lawn for all their neighbours to see.
Slip a tip to the local barrista to read your love bomb out loud when they call your person’s name.* Wouldn’t it be great to hear – “Jeff your latte is ready ~ and Diane loves you for being a wonderful listener.”
Write it in chalk on the sidewalk. Or somewhere else conspicuous.
Say it in a foreign language. Then they have to figure out what you said.
Hide notes in places you know they’ll find. One person chose a neat freak – so she wrote a love bomb on a piece of paper and threw it in the backseat of her car, knowing she’d have to pick it up.
Get different co-workers to say it to them throughout the day.*
Text it. Pin it. Facebook it. Email it. Phone it in. Say it in person.
Post a note in a shop window (or several) in their neighbourhood.*
Write it on your body. Write it on their body.
Just Do It!

And however you do it – Have FUN!

*Include others. Even strangers. You’ll be amazed how willing people are to help spread the love.

Your Love Makes a Difference

It’s wonderful when you get to see and feel the difference your love is making in someone’s life. It’s great to see them bask in the glow of your love. It’s fun to know you’ve put a spring in someone’s step, helped them see the best in themselves and shine their own light a little brighter.

It’s awesome when this happens, but what about the times when you give your love to another, openly, consistently, joyful and …. nothing. What then?

We don’t always get to see the difference our love makes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not making a difference.

Alice* is a body-worker. She’s been in practice for many years. A few weeks ago she told me that when she was first starting out she worked in a clinic and took whoever they gave her. There was a older woman who came to her who was grumpy all the time, and no fun to work on. There seemed to be no pleasing this woman. Even though she didn’t seem happy with the treatments she kept returning. Since Alice was new she kept working on her, even though it was unpleasant.

Then one day, before the grump arrived, Alice realized something. What this woman really needed was love. So Alice decided to love her that day. She didn’t say anything different, and she worked on her body in the same way. But as she did it she loved her. She had no good or easy reason to love this woman – she was a bitch. Alice drew from the love that was inside her already, and it was there because it’s always there. Love is what we are. By tapping into that core Alice was able to love this woman without saying a word. The session was done and the woman left.

While Alice prepped her room for another client the receptionist came in and said, “What did you do to her in here? She was an angel.”

Alice had the good fortune to hear second hand that her love had made a difference. We don’t all get that gift. So when you’re giving your love bombs and you don’t know if it’s working – TRUST.

Trust that your love is making a difference. Even if it’s only making a difference in you.

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Love is what you are, and by actively accessing that love you’re accessing the truth of who you are.

*Alice: The name isn’t real. But her love is!

Drop a Love Bomb and Feel Better

Want a good reason to Drop a Love Bomb today?

Do it for your brain! and not just your brain… do it for every cell in your body. Love will change you from the inside.

For days you’ve been paying attention to one person with the intention of remembering or discovering something you love about them. Feeling that love. Then expressing it to them. I told you this would benefit you. Maybe you’re noticing that. Maybe not yet. But here’s some of what’s going on. You are changing your brain.

Neural pathways are routes of communication in your body. As you learned throughout your life, certain pathways became well developed. These neural pathways became the roadmap of how you think and behave.

Imagine that for many years you’ve been walking a path from your house to your friend’s house. With all the wear and tear over time this path has become wide and flat and easy to walk. You’ve traveled back and forth for so long that you no longer think about it. It’s automatic ~ A habit. A neural pathway is like that path.

By practicing the 30 Day Love Explosion you are forming a new habit, developing new neural pathways. It’s like taking a new path to your friend. It’s through a beautiful forest, full of lush plants, and gorgeous fragrant flowers. It’s a much more enjoyable path. But there’s resistance. You need to cut the path, you’re not totally sure of it yet. It’s not as fast as the old route. But over time as you keep walking this new path, your resistance will fade, the path will become clearer and easier to walk. Eventually it will become automatic and voila – you’ve got a new habit.

Your new habit is love, and love creates a chemical change in your body. By deliberately paying attention each day to what you love about the person you chose, you are developing neural pathways in your brain that are feeding your cells with dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin and more of the yummy love chemicals that make you feel so dang good!

So if you’ve been feeling good during the 30 Day Love Explosion now you know why.

Some of you may be wondering “If it feels so good, why am I not doing it daily? Why do I forget? How come I find excuses not to?”

Good questions. Just like cutting a new path through a beautiful forest is more work than walking along the old path you are use to, your cells are use to the old well-worn neuropathways. Even if those old pathways are feeding your cells stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, your cells have become use to them and will get their information from these well developed pathways out of “habit”. It’s easier. It’s the equivalent of walking to your friend’s house on the old familiar path before you even realize you’re on it.

It takes deliberate practice to stay on this new path. So, don’t beat yourself up if you forget some days. Don’t worry if you feel resistance to this new way. Stick with it. Practice it deliberately.

Know that you’re practicing a new habit that creates love pathways in your brain and feeds your cells with feel-good chemicals. You really are doing this for yourself.

Here’s to you and your daily practice. Bombs Away!!!

Pay Love Forward

Let me be clear about one thing:
The person you choose to love bomb during The 30 Day Love Explosion does NOT need to choose you!!!

I just learned that some of you want to do this but the person you chose isn’t sure about this whole whacky idea, so they don’t want to commit.

That’s perfectly fine. Love Bomb them anyway.

I never meant for this to be reciprocal, though it may be that way for some of you. The idea of this is to Pay Love Forward. You are doing this for the person you choose with nothing expected in return. You’ll find that you’re also doing it for yourself. By feeling and expressing love, you’ll experience more love in your life.

It may not come from the person you have chosen. That’s perfectly alright. You’ll be tapping into the love that is already inside you. You’ll experience more of the truth that ~ You Are Love.

Pay close attention to the person you’ll be love bombing, look for the many reasons you love them.

Also, pay attention to yourself. What do you notice about yourself, as you pay love forward? It may be wonderful. It may not all be pretty. If you can remain curious and loving with yourself it may teach you much about the person who needs your love more than anyone else – You!

Who to Choose for The 30 Day Love Explosion?

How do you choose the right person for The 30 Day Love Explosion?

That question assumes you could choose the wrong person to Love Bomb for the month of June. And I don’t think that’s true.

1) You may choose the person closest to you. The person you love the most, feel best about, and already shower with love. Anything wrong with? Nope. Not at all.

In the days when I managed lots of staff I made sure everyone had the same basic training, but once I discovered someone’s natural talents and interests I focused on that. I went the extra mile with them in the field of their strengths and desires. If a staff member delighted customers and generated more sales than others, I got them extra sales training. If someone was a wizard with numbers, organization or layout and design, I supported those skills and interests. I saw that by giving more attention to the areas where staff were naturally skilled and interested they improved exponentially.

I provided the same basic training to everyone, but trying to turn a numbers person into my top sales person was never going to give me the same payback as supporting my sales people to really rock my customers’ world. Later in life I learned that this approach has a name. It’s called the 80/20 rule. So, if you focus your love on the person you love the most you are likely to experience exponential rewards.

Those little daily love bombs, dropped into an already soaring relationship, can blow it into the stratosphere.

2) You may choose a person you struggle with. That person you care about, who rattles your cage and triggers your emotions. Any good reason to pour your love into a struggle? Sure there is.

When a relationship rattles you it brings stress in your life. And stress gets in the way of you being your best. Since it’s not your job to change the other person, and it’s a total waste of your time, you might as well focus on yourself. By noticing one thing you love about this person every day you’ll focus less on the aspects that trigger you.

Often the person who triggers you is reflecting something back to you that you don’t like about yourself. They may be saying the same things your own internal critic tells you. They may be doing something you wish you had the courage to do, or something you wish you would stop doing. Often the person who bugs you the most has something to teach you about yourself.

By finding 30 things you love about them, you may discover new things you love about yourself, and that can quiet your inner critic and give you the courage to become the person you are meant to be.

The person you choose for #the30dayloveexplosion is the right person!

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Why Just One? The 30 Day Love Explosion

If you’ve signed up for The 30 Day Love Explosion you may be thinking of a number of people you’d like to Love Bomb all month. But I strongly recommend you choose JUST ONE.

If you’re like most people you’re already being pulled in too many directions, you’ve got too much on your plate and there often aren’t enough hours in the day to do what you want to do. Hey, life is complex.

This is Simple.

Choose just one. For 30 days you’re going to be focusing your attention on that one person. And great things happen when you pay attention. You’ll be noticing the things they do and the ways they are that you really love and appreciate. You’ll be noticing how their ways make you feel, and you’ll be expressing it daily. By keeping it to one person you set yourself up for success.

Keeping your commitments simple and doable you can achieve an awful lot.

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You’ll be amazed at what this simple focused act will bring to your life. More on that later….

So, who you gonna choose?