Self Care is A Gift You Give Everyone

Could this be the Year of Radical Self Care?

When I say self-care I’m not referring to booking that annual physical, getting regular massages or even eating a cleaner diet, though all of those are good things.

I’m talking about a systemic change to your operating system. That’s what makes it radical.

Radical |ˈradikəl|
adjective:
1. relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something.
2. thorough and intended to be completely curative.
3. characterized by departure from tradition.

Radical self care would be first of all getting to know your own wants and needs. Feel into what you might want and explore through trial and error what works for you and what doesn’t. This will take time, and curiosity and vulnerability. That may seem like a tall order but I can assure you the rewards to yourself and others will be exponential. (Not at first, but eventually)

Few of us were taught how to really care for ourselves. We know how to get along, be successful in the world, and we have ideas about sleep and diet and exercise. But did anyone teach you how to truly care for your body and soul?

Do you know how to hear the soft voice inside guiding you to your heart’s deepest desire?
Can you feel the gentle prodding of your body, directing your actions to get you there?
Can you intuit in each moment how to move, eat, drink, and be still in ways that heal your life and the planet?

Living this way probably sounds selfish, even narcissistic, but you’ll find if you explore it you’ll be kinder, more compassionate and generous with the world.

Here’s why:

I must have seen those airplane videos on how to act in an emergency over 100 times, and every time I’ve thought the same thing.

Nobody’s going to be that calm if the plane’s really going down.
It goes against everything in my nature to put on my own oxygen mask before putting in on someone in need.

I lived most of my life putting oxygen masks on everyone around me. I was good at it. I got a lot of satisfaction from it. I formed a whole sense of value from being of service. And then I ran out of oxygen. I had to learn a whole new way to be in the world. Those airplane videos were right. Without putting our masks on first we can’t really take care of anyone else. At least not for long.

My case is pretty extreme, so perhaps you can’t relate to it. But I’ll bet there are ways you’re taking care of others before considering your own needs ~ to be a good parent, friend, employee, boss, spouse, sister…. but putting others needs first habitually not only hurts you, it hurts those who love you.

When you don’t take care of your own needs, you’ll unconsciously look to others to take care of you. We all have needs that must be met. You’ll look to fulfill them in ways that you may not even see happening. When your needs and desires go unmet for too long, you can become resentful, jealous, short tempered. When you are hard on yourself you are hard on others.

If you really want to be loving, generous and compassionate, be that way with yourself first.

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You can’t give others what you don’t have. So begin by getting to know what it is you really want and need, not in the grand scheme of life, but in each moment as you live it. That will require listening to your body, creating enough quiet for that voice inside you to be heard, clearing some space to do things you’ve been putting off in – that includes space to do nothing. You may find you need more time alone, movement, play, laughs, challenges, rest, sunshine, water, sex, deep conversations, fat in your diet…. you’re unique and so are your needs.

It’s taken me years to discover what I truly want and need. It’s been a radical shift in my way of being and I continue to evolve and learn. I’ve had to re-educate people who I had previously trained to expect more of me than I could actually give. You may have to do the same thing. This may help.

Over the holidays I’m staying with a friend to help her recover from surgery. I have one role here ~ Take care of her. It would be easy to fall into old patterns and knock myself out caring for someone who really needs it. Instead, it’s a joy. I feel like I’m on a retreat because I’m taking care of myself by getting lots of sleep, spending time alone, visiting with my husband, meditating, doing yoga, writing, moving, and taking naps. When it’s time to care for her it comes from a very full place. It’s a joy to go to the market, make her meals, clean up and take her to doctor’s visits. My oxygen mask is on and I’m taking deep breaths from it, so I have lots to give.

Let This be Your Year of Radical Self Care.

If you want some help figuring out what matters most to you, take my Free Masterclass here.

Walk Your Shame Into the Light

This week three clients shared some things with me that had been causing them shame. It took a lot of courage and vulnerability (which are always connected, but that’s for another post). By opening up in the ways they did we became more intimate and honest. I was able to help them more. They felt freer, calmer and actually better about themselves.

The vulnerabilities shared ranged from “I haven’t been doing the assignment you gave me” to “There’s this thing I’ve never told anyone before…”

When we feel ashamed about something we did or didn’t do, or something we are or are not, our tendency is to hide it away in the dark. We are afraid to disappoint or disgust people, that we’ll be ostracized and abandoned. We don’t want to be alone.

So we hide parts of ourselves, believing that will keep us safe. But they grow like monsters in the closet of your childhood room. Kept in the dark, these become the secrets you must guard. You build walls around them, not realizing you are building walls around yourself. These walls separate you from others, making you feel even more alone and ashamed.

Shame makes you feel that you are not like others.

You believe there is something wrong with you that makes you unworthy. It’s different from knowing you made a mistake. Shame makes you feel that you are wrong. These feelings make you push the shame deeper and deeper into the the darkness, where it grows.

Although your fear may be telling you to keep your shame deep in the blackness of your closet, you’ll actually be free yourself of the monster by bringing it into the light, in the company of someone you trust, who loves you no matter what.

Who you share this with is a critical aspect. I’m not advocating that you share your shame with just anyone. Share it with someone who will listen wholeheartedly, allow space for your emotions, not judge you for anything you’ve done or thought, and may even share a similar experience they’ve had that made them feel the way you do now. A good therapist is an excellent choice.

I’ll bet this is one of the reasons why AA meetings and other 12 step programs work so well. Sharing shame with those who won’t judge you is liberating and empowering. You discover that we are all more similar than we are different. You feel worthy once again.

Think of your shameful secret as a frightened child. You want to lovingly take it by the hand and walk it out of the dark closet into daylight.

Who do you trust to hold that scared child’s other hand and walk with you?

Let The Music Move You.

Music moves me. It makes me want to get up and dance. Even if you don’t feel the urge to shake your groove thing when your favourite song comes on, the music is still moving you – literally.

Sound is vibration traveling as a wave. When this wave hits your eardrum you vibrate. This is how you hear. The characteristics of the vibration influence the way your body functions.

Music can irritate you, making you feel anxious and restless. Or it can soothe you, lower your blood pressure, regulate stress hormones, and make you feel calm. It can revive you, boost your immune system, increase your productivity, and improve your memory. It can soften your defenses, helping you release emotions that you’ve been holding deep inside. It can sharpen your focus and fuel your confidence.

Your thoughts, emotions and actions happen because the neurons in your brain are communicating, and sound waves affect your brain waves. So music impacts how you think, feel and act.

Your heartbeat responds to the frequency, tempo and volume of sounds, speeding up or slowing down to match the rhythm that it feels.

So if you want to get yourself into a desired state – try music. It will move you whether you notice it or not.

If you are tired and sluggish try a hit of music instead of caffeine.
Play music while you’re working for greater focus, creativity, productivity ~ and that hit of dopamine it releases in your brain.
If you are feeling stuck in your life play something you’d usually never choose. Let new and different music surprise you right out of your rut.
Need some courage? Choose an anthem to pump you up for that pivotal moment.
Use it as a meditation. Focus all your attention on birds singing outside your window or a beautiful piece of music of your choice. Every time your thoughts wander, just bring your attention back to the music. Feel it wash over you and through you.
Listen to the music of life. At times you may feel bombarded by noise. Cities are loud. Rather than resist it, try to hear the music in it all – the low drum of machinery, the soprano of children’s laughter, the horn section on the highway.
Make your own. One of the best ways to vibrate with music is to sing, chant, hum or play an instrument. Don’t worry about being good enough. Do it for the good vibes you’ll create.

This weekend I was part of a sound healing experience. I didn’t even know it was going to happen. I was just checking out an alternative church. Then Guy Douglas started playing a gong. After that he played Tibetan bowls and other beautiful instruments unknown to me. With eyes closed I focused on the sounds, and could feel the powerful vibrations wash through me. The cells in my body were resonating with nuances of the sounds, making me feel more alive. The nausea I’d had all morning softly dissolved. I was experiencing the healing power of music. I was altered by it.

Coincidentally I had set aside time later that day to write about the practice of listening for Pleasure As a Spiritual Path. I hadn’t been able to get into the groove of that particular practice for some time. But after this amazing experience of sound, the words just flowed right out. Whatever was blocked in me had been shaken loose and I was free to write. And I have the music to thank.

photo by Cheryl Kaufman

6:00am in November

Four blocks from my home the elements conspire in perfection. As I walk along the firm grey sand, warm waves lap at my ankles, the sun warms my back and a breeze off the ocean hints of the heat to come.

Bathed in the sun’s warmth I become a caramel apple. Rich brown sun taffy coats my skin, emitting a buttery scent. It covers my crisp cool insides, ripe with sweet juice. It is 6:00am in November and other parts of the country are preparing for snow. Here short thick men with brown leathered faces and bare feet catch perch one by one and throw them into coolers where they flap their suffocation dance until they die.

No dolphins this morning, but surfers patiently bob up and down waiting for the perfect wave. I saw a few – those swells that become great translucent tubes, rolling down the coast offering rides to all who dare. It’s exhilarating just to watch from the shore, that same water, crashing against my thighs, surprising me with its force.

With heavy wet legs I walk, run, walk, run all the way home. Delighted to be alive, to live where I do, to be who I am.

I am so very grateful.

Be Willing to Fail

When someone asks:

“What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”:

Do you get inspired?
Does your heart race as you think of the one great thing you’ll do immediately?
Do you rush off and begin it?
Do you dream of the wildly successful life you’ll have because you did that great thing, knowing you couldn’t fail?

Or do you think “Wait a minute, there’s no guarantee I won’t fail.”

And tuck that dream back into your pocket.

Now that question, that’s been asked millions of times, is a perfectly good question because it gets you thinking beyond your fear of failure for a moment. And sometimes your fear is so great it stops you from imagining what you might do. But the moment you begin to imagine yourself attempting this great thing you want to do, something happens. You realize you might just fail.

So here’s my question: What are you willing to fail for?

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It’s a different way to approach it. Rather than imagining your assured success, which feeds your desire for certainty, which is fueled by your fear, you’ll connect with the love that is urging you to act. And I’ll just bet there is something you’d love to do, but fear of failure is holding you back. It may be a passing thought, a flicker of an image at the edge of your peripheral vision, or a longing that won’t let you go. There is something you want to experience, something within you that wants to be expressed. But your fear of failure gets in the way.

What if you change your relationship with failure so that instead of shunning it, fearing it and avoiding it, (poor failure – nobody likes it), you see it as an important part of experiencing life. So much can be gained from failing. Though you think you might die of embarrassment, most failures won’t actually kill you.

I’m willing to fail for love.

I play the ukelele badly. And it makes me so happy every time I do. Yes, I would like to be better, and every time I hit a wrong note, (which is more often than not) the perfectionist in me cringes a little, but the joy of playing it keeps me failing my way through song after song.

I garden without having a clue what I’m doing. I rip up lawn and level dirt and plant food and flowers, and lots of it fails. But more of it thrives. The joy I get from sitting out there listening to nature, feeling the life growing around me and sharing my bounty with butterflies, birds, bees and neighbours makes me happy to be alive.

My first marriage failed. It ended in divorce. But we loved and still love each other. We are friends. The marriage no longer served us. And love made me willing to marry again ~ I’m risking failure for love. (ps. I don’t really think my first marriage failed. It just transitioned into something else)

One of my businesses failed. I started a business in an industry that didn’t exist when we were creating it. We raised capital during the financial crisis of 2008. We failed by missing every goal we set. But I stayed connected to the love that birthed this business into the world, grew closer to my investors through the struggles, and stretched myself more than I thought I could.

I’ve also had lots of success, but within everyone one of those successes are failures big and small. If I’m not failing I’m not challenging myself and growing, and neither are you.

What are you willing to fail for?

A Love Story

Wednesday was like any other day, until it wasn’t. After my client call I got up to get a glass of water. He always followed me to the kitchen, but today he couldn’t get up. His back legs just wouldn’t work. I watched as he spun and fell on his face. I went to him and gently raised his back end. His front legs crumbled beneath him. I helped him outside where he vomited fiercely, releasing everything from within. I called Mark who came home right away. Making the decision was easy. We have always agreed that we would never let him suffer. I called our vet who was fully booked, but agreed to stay late for us at the end of the day. So we spent a few hours lazing in the shade with him, creating a love sandwich with our bodies.

It was during this time Mark realized the date, October 17^th. It was 10 years ago today that Guapo arrived in Santa Monica from Mexico. Mark and I have never been a couple without him, which is why we think of ourselves as a threesome. For the last 10 years he’s always been by one of our sides.

Guapo and I have covered many miles together over the years. When I was healthy we’d wander between 4 and 8 miles a day. We walked a slow two only yesterday. His pace was the rhythm my body had longed for, and through our walks he taught me to live in sync with my own true nature. I learned to open my heart after hurt, to give without doing, receive without guilt and love myself just the way I am. He taught me that there is no waiting – only being.

He’d started preparing us for this day exactly a year ago, when he took his last long hike. Guapo and Mark climbed to the top of Solstice Canyon the way they liked to do, and sat looking out at the ocean, the breeze blowing through his fur and lifting his ears. The next day he was stiff and moved like the 14 year old dog that he was. From then on we stayed on flat surfaces. Though most days he could still do his regular 4 miles, sometimes he let me know he wanted to turn back early. In recent months our walks had slowed to a crawl, a beautiful bridal procession of 6 legs and two hearts. It was a tender joy to pay close attention to his movements, giving him time to sniff and pee without tugging on his aging body. Even then he was teaching me not to mourn what had been, but to love what is. I was humbled and honoured to be by his side.

Anticipating and serving his increased need for care fit seamlessly into the fabric of my life. It was a privilege to massage his muscles and joints, rubbing in essential oils every night. Each week we would drive him up the coast, through the winding roads of Topanga and into the valley where he’d drop into a warm salt water pool and be transformed into the determined working dog of his youth. It filled us with joy to see him this way. It would add spring to his step for days.

When it was just the two of us, I’d ask Guapo to let me know when he was done with it all, and promised I would do right by him. It was clear today he was ready to go. He rested his head on my lap in the car, a ride I wished would be over soon, and never end. Our final act of loving devotion was a lethal injection that killed him in seconds. It shocked me when his head dropped violently and he lay breathless in my arms. We kissed his beautiful face and stroked his silky fur, the two of us a sobbing mess of devastation, cracked open by love like a Rumi poem. It was so hard to let go, knowing I’d never see him or hold him again. That’s one of the hardest lessons to learn in relationship – the beauty of letting go.

Mark and I walked into the ocean that evening, which was still as warm as summer. We thought it would wash away our tears, but they keep coming. As the warm water splashed around us and the sun set behind the mountains, we talked about how blessed we were to have known him, and learned from him. We figure he must have signed a 10 year contract, not a day longer, and it expired today. Ten years trying to teach the two of us is a long time. I hope we’ve been good students.

When we return to the house it feels too small to me, too big to Mark. We are grumpy Goldilocks without our bear to make everything right. As hard as today was, I know tomorrow will be harder. When I stretch my legs over the bed I won’t feel his strong body below me and run my feet through his silky fur, the black patches mysteriously softer than the rest. I will walk to the kitchen without my 60 lb shadow. When I open the fridge door in the middle of the day, I won’t gently slide his sleeping body out of the way, and quietly move him back in place without waking him. I will eat a banana without his big brown eyes daring me not to share it. When I open the front door I will look at his pillow on the porch where he will not be waiting. And somehow I will find the strength to walk, placing one foot in front of the other.

Your Life is a Love Story. What Chapter Are You Writing Today?

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I wrote this on the night of Guapo’s death, two years ago today. It’s part of my love story.

Love Soars. Fear Cages.

During my early morning walks, my heart delights at the marbled godwit dancing its breakfast tango with the ocean. I revel at the soaring wingspan of silent pelicans cresting the waves. The seagulls squaking make me laugh out loud. I love seeing these air borne creatures and the different ways they kiss the sky. They carry my breath on their wings.

But today I thought of their caged companions. Captured birds have always made me sad ~ An animal built to glide through the skies, sentenced to a life in a small cell, often in solitary confinement, unable to live its true nature, to spread its wings and soar.

We don’t cage birds because we want to be cruel. We do it because we love them, and we want to be close to that which we love. We want to possess that which we love. But that desire to possess is not an expression of love. We want to possess it so we can control it. Love makes us feel vulnerable. Control makes us feel safe. Our actions are always motivated by either fear or love. Our desire to control comes from fear.

I apply this thinking to my own life and wonder what aspect am I domesticating that wants to be wild.

Have I confused my love for what is with an unconscious fear of change?
Am I playing it safe, fearing how great it could really be?
What am I caging in my life, afraid to let it soar?

I love my husband and our relationship, so I often ask myself – is an unconscious fear of risking what we have keeping us from being what we could be?

Consider this:

Is there a part of your life, or a part of yourself that you control, afraid to let it be wild and free?

Are you staying in a less than fabulous job or a relationship because it feels safe, afraid of what the unknown might hold?

When love would have you risk it all, are you playing it safe in your gilded cage?

In the cage you’ve created you may feel safe, but you certainly won’t soar.

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How To Do Anything.

I use to believe there’s a right way of doing things and a wrong way. There are right ways to be and wrong ways. Right foods to eat, right thoughts to think, right beliefs to believe.

And I mostly found myself getting it wrong.

I’ve been a good student. I love to learn. The way I learned in the past was to assume the teachers are right and I must do things exactly the way they say. I’ve gone against my natural instincts, ignored the wisdom of my body and blindly followed a leader, believing they have the answer to my questions.

I learned over the years that what works for them may not work for me. And that doesn’t make either of us wrong. My natural style is non-linear. In the middle of writing this blog I have browsed images that have nothing to do with this, listened to a new song I just found, put the wet laundry in the dryer and danced a bit. This wasn’t multi-tasking, and I wasn’t distracting myself from writing this blog. Each act was done on it’s own because in that moment it’s what I wanted to do. And here I am, my bum back in the seat, writing this blog. I’m happier being back here now than if I had ignored those other impulses and stuck to the writing just to get it done.

When I decided to rid the yard of all grass and put in veggies, native plants, an outdoor dining room, flagstone patio and yoga pad, I would work a bit on one area and then feel called to drop what I was doing and move somewhere else. After building up compost I’d move some stones, plant new seedlings, build a water feature and come back to the compost. With breaks in between where I would do nothing but listen to what wanted to happen next.

Moving through my garden and my life this way, I stay in touch with the pleasure of doing what I’m doing. For me, it’s a spiritual practice.

For a few years I’ve had the idea of writing a book to go with the class I teach, Pleasure As A Spiritual Path. Each time I would sit down to write it felt like work. I kept abandoning the project because I can’t write a book about pleasure unless that’s my guiding source. I kept thinking that I’d really like to do it around images, but how could I begin with images if I didn’t yet know exactly what I wanted to say, what the images would highlight and how they’d fit in. The way to write a book – I’d been told by everyone who’s ever written one – is to stick my bum in a chair regularly and write. But it just wasn’t bringing me any joy.

So I got the idea to just follow my impulse, and begin with images. I spoke with a photographer who’s work I love, about capturing women for my non-existent book. I am excited. I asked beautiful women of different ages, colours and sizes if they’d be interested in being photographed doing different things. They didn’t ask what they’d be doing, or when or where it was. They mostly just said YES. I am honoured. I started coming up with angles I’d like to see for each practice my course offers. As I did this more practices started making themselves known to me. I feel inspired. And now music is coming to mind that I can use during our photoshoot, so I’m making a play list. I am energized.

This is the way I work. Not always, but mostly. I’ve tried the direct approach of getting to the destination, but it zaps my joy. I’m more of a scenic route kind of a gal. I may not get there as quickly, but I enjoy the adventure, and sometimes end up in a different place from where I set out to go, because that’s where I’d rather be.

I’m not suggesting this is a way for you to do things. Pay attention to yourself. Tune out all the ways you should be doing things, and notice what gives you joy. Then do that.

Honour Your Own Way of Doing Things.

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And the reason I am using Ryan McGuire’s photo of a cow in roller skates is because it made me smile. That’s just the way I do things.

Increase your Capacity for Joy

It was one of those days when I woke up feeling fantastic. Nothing in my body hurt, my energy was good. I was grateful for so much in my life. The sun was shining, it was a beautiful day. Dolphins greeted me on my beach walk.

Then my husband got some great news about a project he’s been working on for many years. I happy danced my way through the morning. That afternoon a client had an amazing breakthrough of a pattern that had been holding her back. I was so excited I could barely contain it.

After getting my notes out to my client I went Home Depot. It’s rare in my life that I have to drive, but I had to use the car for this errand. While driving to HD I was overwhelmed with a craving for chocolate chip cookies. Not just warm, chewy, fresh baked goodness. Any crappy store bought junk would be my fix. I fantasized about eating a whole bag.

As soon as I noticed this craving I breathed deeply and slowly. Then I became curious about the addictive monster threatening to take over my body and mind, on a day when things were going so well. And that’s when it hit me. I had maxed out my capacity for joy. I was holding it in as best I could, but something had to give. I was a dam about to burst. A good dose of sugar would have taken me higher, making me feel like a superhero, invincible. The craving came from an internal cry – “Gimme more… gimme more.” But that kind of high is the booby prize, a poor substitute for divine pleasure, and it’s always followed by a crash.

You see sugar does a real number on me. I’ll spare you the details but trust me that it ain’t pretty. It wrecks my body… for days. By craving sugar my body was unconsciously bringing me back down from the high I was on. A high that I couldn’t sustain. If I’d followed through on that craving I’d have soared like Icarus only to crash and burn ~ in bed for a few days, depleted, sick and sore.

Instead I witnessed what was going on and stopped myself. I got out of the car, planted my feet on the ground and started breathing deeply. By grounding myself I allowed all the good feelings to flow through my body. As I did this the craving for sugar completely disappeared, effortlessly. I wasn’t even thinking about cookies. I was just grounding and breathing, and the craving vanished. I felt myself get bigger, not physically, but energetically. Grounding and breathing had increased my capacity for joy. I could contain all the goodness of this day, let it flow through me and make room for more.

Later that evening I had a wonderful visit with a friend. I was elated. I noticed the energy building inside and I let it express itself. I danced around, letting this joy move my body. It was easy and took only a few minutes. Throughout the day I’d been riding the waves of joy, with a near crash safely averted, living to surf another day.

This all happened quite naturally because I’ve been moving energy through my body for years, I’ve been listening to the signals of my body the way one might listen at the feet of a guru. I have been willing to be too loud, too angry, too quiet, too much, to honour my authentic self. I still make mistakes, override my body’s wisdom and find myself in old patterns, but when I have experiences like this I want to share them with you so that you can learn from my mistakes and lessons and have a more pleasurable ride.

Four Steps to Increase your Capacity for Joy.

1. Ground yourself. Though it seems counter-intuitive, you’ll soar higher by dropping into the ground. Your connection to the earth will expand your capacity for all feeling, including joy.

2. Breathe. Breathe deeply, slowly and easily. As you breathe your body relaxes. Breathing enables you to feel your feelings. Breathing brings you out of your head, the future, the past and into the present where Joy resides.

(I feel so strongly about breathing and grounding that they are the first practices of Pleasure As a Spiritual Path.)

3. Be aware of your body. For years I was disconnected from my body. I was happy enough but I couldn’t sustain true joy. We have to drop back in to our skin to increase our capacity. Start by noticing sensations. You don’t have to understand them or create a story to go with them. Just start by noticing ~ tightness, quickness, buzzing, pulsing, expansion, contraction ~ what is happening inside you. Stop reading right now and just notice what’s going on in your body.

4. Allow emotions and energies to move through your body. Not just the happy dances of joy, but the punching and raging of anger and hurt, the sobbing and trembling of sorrow and grief.

Suppressing the feelings you don’t want diminishes your capacity for the feelings you do want.

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Here’s to your joy ~ ever increasing, expanding and touching us all!

Move from Certainty To Clarity

You want a life of passion, joy and peace, yet what you strive for so often is certainty.

It’s not unusual to want things to be certain. It’s based on a belief that life can be under your control. “If I do A and B I will achieve C.” This kind of linear, cause-and-effect thinking is prevalent in our society. And while some things are under our control, believing you can have certainty is black and white thinking in a full spectrum world.

The challenge with wanting certainty is that so much of life is beyond your control. So your quest for certainty puts you in constant struggle with life.

The less certain life feels, the more stressed you become, and the harder you work to control it. See how this pulls you in the opposite direction of passion, joy and peace?

When you have clarity you lose the need for certainty. Clarity comes from knowing yourself. It comes when you shed the beliefs, judgements and conditioning that keep you living in the way that is expected of you, instead of the manner that feeds your soul. Clarity shines through you when you know your truth. With clarity comes self acceptance, love and compassion.

And here’s the amazing thing ~ When you are clear, the world responds to your clarity in ways you’ve never known before. Your relationship to life transforms beyond the fear-based need for control into a love affair with what is and a curiosity about what will be.

The Need for Certainty Comes from Fear. The Desire for Clarity Comes from Love.

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Don’t take my word for it. The next time you have the need to be certain about something, explore your reasons and see if you find some underlying fear motivating you.

The path to clarity can be a long and winding road of self-discovery, but it’s a path that will set you free.