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Why Focus on One? The 30 Day Love Explosion

In the age of multi-tasking, multi-plex theaters and multi-orgasms you’d think I’d ask you to Love Bomb as many people as possible during The 30 Day Love Explosion, because more is obviously better, right?  Wrong.

The 30 Day Love Explosion is a time to Focus.

That’s why you pick just one person.

Did you ever pull out a magnifying glass on a sunny day when you were a kid? If you held it over a piece of wood you could burn your name it in. There was very little effort involved. All you had to do was hold the magnifying glass in one place. The glass amplified the light, intensifying the heat. The cool thing was this intense amplification of sun in one spot didn’t diminish it anywhere else. Magnifying the sun in your backyard, didn’t pull the sun away from your neighbour’s yard. The sun still shone as brightly everywhere else.

Love works the same way.

Still not sure why you should bother?

All of us have limited attention capacities. That’s why it’s illegal to use your cell phone while driving. So if you try  to Love Bomb several people for the month of June you are more likely to get distracted and forget. You may even become overwhelmed. You are less likely to succeed. Focusing on just one person sets you up for success.

Throughout June you’ll be paying specific attention to one person. You’ll observe, you’ll listen and you’ll reflect back what you love. Where your attention goes your life follows. So when you focus on love you amplify it, not just in this relationship, but in all areas of your life. While focusing on one person you’ll find yourself noticing things you love about others, about yourself and about your life. The quality of your life is not determined by what happens, but by your perspective of what happens. When your perspective is shifted towards love it will impact the rest of your life.

Your love is like the sun beaming out into the world. Focusing on one person is like using a magnifying glass, and your love becomes a laser beam. It is amplified, with the power to change the object of your love forever. And none of this diminishes your love shining in the world.

 

I’ll see you soon, Debra

 

Join The 30 Day Love Explosion

It’s Simple. It’s Deep.

And it’s completely Free

just like LOVE itself.

There are 4 Easy Steps:

1) Pick one person to focus on during the month of June. Just one. It could be your partner, parent, child, sibling, best friend, or even someone you’re struggling with.

2) Beginning JUNE 1st you’re going to tell that person one reason you love them*. You’re going to be specific. Then every day for 30 days you’ll give a unique reason you love them. No repeats. I call these Love Bombs.

3) This means you’re going to have to pay attention to them, and your feelings. You’ll probably start with the obvious and then notice things you’ve been taking for granted. You may have to draw on memories to rekindle something that’s been lost.

4) Express it any way you want. Say it, text it, leave love notes, get it tattooed on your body, use sign language, spell it in sprinkles on a cake…. get creative. Or keep it simple. Doing it daily is all that matters.

*If you choose a co-worker or your bus driver or the guy who walks your pet lizard it may be totally weird to say “love”.  No problem. Say “appreciate, admire, respect, enjoy, am in awe of…” There are so many to express love.

Here’s the best part. The more you give love the more you get. Just by feeling and expressing the love you have for someone, you reap the benefits. It will increase your dopamine and oxytocin, and decrease your stress hormones. It can lower your blood pressure, help you sleep better, reduce your cravings for sugar, enhance your creativity, and even help you lose weight. And it can make you feel more generous and grateful.
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The simplest practice to have more compassion, love and joy in your life.

Recently a friend sent me an album with a song on it that she had sung for me. It’s a beautiful song called The Face of God. The chorus goes:

You are the face of God
I hold you in my heart,
You are a part of me
You are the face of God…

You are the face of love
I hold you in my heart
You are my family
You are the face of God…

It’s easy when listening to this song, to think of this friend and feel the love I have for her. My mind also wanders to others I cherish. I feel the profound truth of these lyrics as loved ones come to mind. All the people I love are the face of God to me.

One day I was playing this song during my morning yoga and I thought if anyone is the face of God then everyone is the face of God. That’s obvious I know, but it occurred to me that I don’t act always like that. I wondered what would happen if I did.

It doesn’t mean I have to enjoy everyone’s company or agree with what they do, but if I would see every single person, and every single being as the face of God it would rock my world. So I tried it and it did. I experienced more compassion, love and joy each and every time.

The rodent that is eating my garden is the face of God, (teaching me non-attachment). The homeless man screaming jibberish is the face of God, (opening my heart). The gardener who welcomes a cup of water on a hot day, (connects me with my own simple humanity)

It’s a no-brainer to see the face of God in the people you love, and easy to see the face of God in people who look, think and act like you, and even if you don’t know them – kind, generous, smart people look an awful lot like the face of God too.

Where it gets interesting is when you see the face of God in the woman who cuts you off in traffic and then gives you the finger, the politician who stands for everything you despise, or the ex-boyfriend who dumped you and seems to be unduly delighted with his supermodel girlfriend. This isn’t a practice of seeing what gifts or lessons these people have for you. It’s not a practice of questioning why this person has come into your life. It’s much simpler than that.

The whole practice is this:

Just for today,

To every person you see,

Say this in your mind: “You are the Face of God”.

Notice how you feel when you say it. With some people it will elevate your love. Other times it will trigger an impulse of compassion and generosity. Then there are times when the absurdity will make you laugh.

This is not in any way meant to be an emotional bypass. If someone triggers some sadness or anger in you to bubble up then for the love of bacon let your emotions flow. Don’t aim them at the person, but do give your emotions the release they need. Then once you’ve let it out, see the face of that person and just say in your mind “You are the Face of God”. See what happens.

You may not have time for a lot of spiritual practice in your life. But you’ve definitely got time for this.

After you’ve tried it I’d love to hear your experience in the comment section below. If you don’t like the results I offer a money back guarantee.

Love Debra
PS. You are the face of God. Feel it. Be it.
And please share this with someone who is the face of God to you.

Overcoming the fear of what other people think.

A while back I heard about a great TedTalk by Brene Brown. A few clients even said ” Have you read Brene Brown? She says what you’re saying. ” I keep meaning to watch her talk but haven’t yet. I even went to her website to check out her blog. I loved the colour, font choice and old fashioned typewrite, but I never got around to reading her blog. I can’t remember if she even has one. But from what I’ve heard, and the look of her site, I’m sure I’d like her.

I was grabbing some detective novels from the library the other day and added Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly to the pile. Finally I was going to get to know Brene.

On page 42 I read something that stopped me. She wrote, “I thought about a paperweight on my desk that reads, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? I pushed that question out of my head to make room for a new question. As I walked up to the stage I literally whispered aloud, “What’s worth doing even if I fail?

I was hot with shame. I could feel myself contract into the smallest version of my self. It was painful to be me. You see I wrote a blog with almost exactly those words. And I thought – what if people think I copied her? What if people think I’m just stealing ideas and promoting them as my own? Shame had been such a constant companion in my past, that it took me a moment to even notice its grip. Once I became aware of that old weight of shame it was quickly replaced with wonder.

Isn’t it curious that my first response should be a crippling shame and fear that people I don’t even know might think less of me, rather than melting with awe that we are all drawing inspiration from the same source, that ideas that want to be in the world will find their way through any willing vehicle, that people who have worked with me and found benefit from it are finding similar messages in other places. Rather than have those as my first response, it was fear about people I don’t even know, people who may not even exist. Fear was getting in the way of love. And the fear was just my imagination.

I hadn’t actually done anything wrong. It was the fear that someone might think I had, that made my stomach turn. I remembered the many times in the past that fear of what others might think stopped me from expressing myself, giving my gifts, and being true. I was surprised to see that fear was still there. But this time I breathed into it. Sat in the discomfort. Remembered who I am without that fear… and the shame dissolved. I then put down the book and turned to a detective novel. Brene and I will meet another day.

The fear of what other people think stops you from expressing yourself, and worse, it stops you from listening to yourself.

People you consider great risk-takers, inventors, change makers and leaders followed their impulses and did what they did in spite of what people might think. But that doesn’t help you right now. So, what can you do?

Over the years I’ve learned to let the love inside me overcome the fear. I don’t do it 100% of the time, but when I do, I allow that love to be expressed in whatever way it wants.

I’ll bet you are braver than me, but if at times you feel the glorious impulse to express what’s inside you, and then you worry about what others will think:

  • Take a moment to breathe and allow that discomfort to be felt.
  • Then connect back to that initial impulse.
  • Feel the expansion of love that wants to move through you.
  • Let that love grow so big inside you that the imagined faces of naysayers dissolves.
  • Then ask yourself:

The love inside you is stronger and softer, more compassionate and inclusive than the fear.

Love Debra

AND…If the world would benefit from someone you know letting their light shine, please feel free to share this with them.

The Joy of Paying Taxes

It’s a wonderful time of year. The weather is warming, birds are singing, flowers are blooming… and taxes are calling.

For many people tax season is a time they feel depressed, angry, stressed, resentful or afraid. It’s so ingrained in our culture to hate paying taxes that we assume feeling like sh*t is normal. But it doesn’t have to be.

How about this year, as an act of radical self care, you make paying taxes a joy?

Before you dismiss that as impossible, consider this: Paying taxes doesn’t cause you stress, or fear, or resentment. It’s your attitude about it that creates it.

Worrying about the work it will take to get everything organized, putting it off until the last minute, avoiding paying because you don’t have the money will all create unnecessary stress. You are better off dedicating time to do it and diving in.

Avoiding your responsibilities will never bring long term joy and peace, but being responsible won’t guarantee it either. You need to handle it differently than just “getting it done”.

Consider for a moment what would elevate tax day from a dreaded chore to a beloved task or curious adventure. Would you do it with someone else – invite a friend, each take a corner of the living room, put on some music, open a bottle of wine and make a day of it? Take a moment and think about anything that might make this year’s tax filing different from all the rest. How can you turn your focus from the result to the process?

I turn it into an annual ritual. Rituals have a way of deeming actions as special, important, spiritual. They suspend the ordinariness of the activity and set it apart as sacred. By creating a ritual I turn taxes into a sacred act, worthy of respect and presence.

In preparation for doing my taxes:

  • I work alone, when the house is empty.
  • I clear the space so I’m not distracted.
  • I add flowers for beauty and fragrance.
  • I light a candle.
  • I say a prayer to give thanks and ask for focus.
  • I keep a note book to record any insights I glean from reviewing my year.

While I’m doing my taxes:

  • As I record income, I give thanks for the money I’ve made.
  • Reviewing expenses, I remember and bless the people I’ve paid.
  • I am grateful for the money I’ve spent and the contributions it’s made to people and places.
  • I am literally counting my blessings as I work.
  • I consider if I’ve made the best choices, and if not I record the the changes I’ll make this year.
  • I remember good times and challenges I’ve faced. I write down ideas and inspirations that come with them.
  • Even if I don’t love all the choices my government makes, I focus on the contribution I am making to society.

Paying quarterly is just an expense, but April is a time of reckoning. It brings clarity, and where there is clarity there is power. I can see where I am at and make informed choices.

One of the things that makes tax time easy is that I set tax money aside from each payment I receive, so it’s available and waiting to be used. If you haven’t set the money aside that you need, don’t let that be an excuse to shove your problems in a dark closet and hope they’ll go away. They’ll only grow into haunting problems the like monsters in the closet of your childhood bedroom. Do your taxes, make a plan to pay it over time, and set yourself up differently this year.

What is one simple thing you can do that will bring more joy to the process of paying your taxes this year?

You can’t avoid it so you might as well enjoy it. Try this, and you can learn a lot about yourself in the process.

The Power of Play

My god daughter was just here visiting. One evening we were reviewing our favourite moments of the previous days. Mine came to me instantly. It was the time we spent making silly videos featuring her face and my feet. They were goofy 5 second videos that served no purpose other than entertaining us. It was pure pleasure. But while we were making them we cared about them.

“Let’s do it this way…Try again…How about if the foot comes from a different angle this time…Now make it look like your feet are actually mine…” For just a short time we were totally engaged in the creative process, improvising and improving our way through it all. We were focused and lighthearted, connected to each other and the work at hand. It was pure play.

The vacation was full of moments equally satisfying, like our lunch on the beach, just the two of us talking about friends and boys and travel vs. french class. There was less laughter and less creative focus, but the pleasure of engaging and the focus of the moment were the same.

I have always associated play with laughter, movement and competition. I’m not a very competitive person, I spend a lot of time on my own, and have spent many years in physical pain, so how is it my life feels so full of play, when it wouldn’t look to the outside world that I spend a lot of time playing.

I learned from Dr. Stuart Brown, author of the book PLAY, that play is not as limited as I had thought. Play includes spontaneous movement, fantasizing, storytelling, being an engaged spectator, handling objects, games and more. Play is being fully engaged in the process, rather than just focused on the result. So you see there are multiple opportunities to play every day. Ideally, Dr. Brown says, our lives are infused with moments of play so much so that work and play are integrated.

In our goal-driven, results oriented, competitive world, we risk losing play in our life. That is no small thing. Play is essential to the evolutionary process.  Babies who play become happier children. Children who play become happier, smarter adults. Play nourishes the brain. Adults who play are more creative, better problem solvers, more adaptable, experience more intimacy, compassion and pleasure, and have a greater sense of belonging.

Research shows that when play is suppressed we not only miss out on many of the joys in life, we are more prone to aggressive behaviour and we risk losing our survival instincts. Play is vital to life.

If the purpose is more important than the process it’s probably not play.” ~ Dr. Stuart Brown”

Play brings about an altered state. It creates connection with yourself, with the process, and with others. Play brings focus and presence. Play is seriously important. And a critical part of self care.

Here are three ways to bring more play into your life.

1. Acknowledge all the ways it already exists.  Before you strive for more, first appreciate what you have.

  • How often in a day are you fully engaged in what you are doing, rather than plowing through it so you can achieve a result?
  • When do you feel connected to yourself and others?
  • Can you sense times when you are really in the flow, outside of your regular sense of time and space?

You may be playing more than you think. Noticing and appreciating the play in your life can bring about more.

 2. Notice the many times you feel an impulse to play.

  • Have you ever felt like skipping down the sidewalk, dancing for no reason, or stretching your body and wiggling around?
  • Do you want to lose yourself in a good book or conversation with a friend?
  • Are you noticing the urge to create with your mind or hands, alone or with others?

These impulses are your natural ways of connecting, nourishing yourself and thriving. You may override them from time to time to get on with the serious work at hand, but allowing yourself to follow these impulses daily, even just for a few moments, will infuse your life with play.

3. If you want more play in your life and don’t know where to begin, remember what you liked to do as a child.

  • Did you love making up stories and putting on plays – maybe you’re a natural writer or performer.
  • Did you play with lego or take things apart – try making something with your hands.
  • Do you recall hours roughhousing with your brothers – physical play might be the thing for you.
  • Would you lose all track of time in nature – more exploring outdoors could do you some good.

It doesn’t have to be exactly what you did as a child, but remembering what you loved can set you in the right direction.

Over a decade ago I stopped striving for goals and immersed myself in the process and pleasures of life. Ironically, it’s led to pretty outstanding results.

The Best Advice I’ve Ever Given

My husband is a smart man. He often asks my advice.  ~ Smart right? Other times he is quite clear he doesn’t want my advice. ~ I told you he was smart.

A while ago he asked me what I thought he should do about a particular situation. Rather than give him my advice, I asked him a question:

What would you do if you were the man you want to be?

He got quiet. He breathed. The answer was right there. He knew what to do.

You see the person you most want to be is already who you are … at your core. The real you, the best you, is already inside you, patiently waiting for your attention.

Conditioned behaviour keeps all of us from accessing our true selves from time to time. Fear drives us outside ourselves for answers. We want to fit in, get ahead and please others. We’re in constant pursuit, acquiring and consuming, to overcome our belief that we are not enough.

But there is a way through the madness and confusion of it all, and the way to get through is to go in.

When faced with a choice, try this:

  • Feel your feet on the ground. (Really, bring your attention to the place where you connect with the earth.)
  • Close your eyes.
  • Breathe slowly and deeply into your body for a few breaths.
  • Then ask yourself:

What would I do if I was the person I really want to be?

Your mind will want to analyze and judge conflicting ideas, presenting cases for and against each one. That’s the mind’s job. It needs to rationalize. Let each thought come and go.

Bring your focus back to your breath. Feel your answer. With enough practice you’ll start to feel who you really are. And you’ll know what to do.

photo by Cheryl Kaufman. drawing by her favourite five year old.

You belong where you can breathe.

There are places that make you want to inhale deeply, pulling the goodness of oxygen into your cells.

You belong there.

There are people who hug you tight while you exhale your truth, your love, your fears.

You belong there.

There are adventures that make you gasp in excitement.

You belong there.

There are friends who allow you to breathe out your fatigue, covering you with a cozy blanket so you can rest. The ones who share your laughter and tears, blending their breath with yours. And the ones who take a step back, making space for you to inhale so deeply you go up a size.

You belong there.

 

You belong in the places, with the people, in the roles and moments that let you breathe.

 

  • Looking at your calendar, do you hold your breath, shrinking under the weight of all you have to do?

Cancel some plans. Create white space where you can breathe.

  • Is your breathing flat and shallow from doing too much of the same old thing?

Try new things that will take your breath away.

  • Has a friend’s nervous chatter got you revved up and holding your breath?

Breathe deeply and slowly as you listen. It will calm you both down.

Your breath can show you how you are and teach you how you can be. A simple deep breathe brings you out of your thoughts and into the present moment. It enables you to hear your truth and express it more clearly.

Your breath will guide you to where you want to put your energy, focus, money and love.

You belong there.

When I’m not caught up wondering how I should do things, I use my breath to guide my decisions. Recently I had an offer to invest in two different real estate opportunities. Both were with a developer that I trust. He’s a visionary, who creates strong partnerships, includes the community, is sensitive to the environment, gives a good return, and makes me laugh.

In the first deal I was waffling – I’m in. I’m out.   Uh… in.    Eeeks… out.   Everything about this deal sounded good and made perfect sense. But when I dropped into my body as I thought about the investment I felt the slightest contraction in my breath. Barely perceptible, but there. It’s not that I doubted any aspect of the deal. It was a great opportunity.

I just didn’t belong there.

When the second opportunity came around I felt my body expand. My breath filled me up and pressed against my skin from the inside. There was no waffling or confusion. The choice was easy, and when I got the a picture of the land with a note that the deal was done I felt the sweet fullness of life fill my lungs.

I belong there.

Your mind is so busy filling your head with ideas about what you should do, that it can be challenging to feel the wisdom of your body through the cacophony of it all. But when you take the time to feel your breath moving through your body, and listen to what it’s telling you, it will guide you to your truth, where you belong.

If you want to fly you have to jump.

A friend of mine is going through a big change in her life. Not the kind that’s thrust upon you when you least expect it and have to deal with it. This is a change she’s been talking about for some years. She’s choosing it. Deciding to change is definitely easier than having change thrust upon you, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

I can see that this change is a calling from deep within. It’s a nudge to spread her wings and fly. She has decided to leave something that had been secure and safe for almost three decades. It was good in many ways. Comfortable. But staying won’t satisfy her heart, which is longing for freedom, expansion and joy.

She set this transition in motion several months ago. Since then there have been decisions to make, difficult conversations to have, logistics to figure out and lots of work to do. And she’s been doing it all courageously. She’s experienced fear, relief, laughter, tears, doubt, grief and happiness, sometimes all in an afternoon.

As she neared the final stage of this transition she said to me, “I’m thinking of delaying for three months”. My immediate response was “DON’T STOP. KEEP GOING. I know you’re afraid, but delaying it will only prolong the pain. You’re almost at the edge…. JUMP.”  That was scary advice because she felt that much of what she was stepping into was unknown.

When I lived in a little village in Mexico I would lie in bed watching paragliders soaring over our little coastal town. Catching thermals they’d rise and fall with the hawks and vultures. They’d glide over the homes, jungle and ocean to land on the beach.

One day I decided to do it too. I chose a “flyer” who had a very safe reputation. I followed him up the mountain through a narrow path. When we got to the top I was exhausted. He unpacked the sail and secured himself to it. He then harnessed me in front of him, and gave me these instructions:

“Look way out beyond the edge of the cliff and run towards that spot. Run to he edge of the mountain.. and then keep running. Everything in you is going to want to slam on the breaks when you get to the edge of the mountain. Don’t. I’m running behind you and we’re attached. You have to keep running… no matter what.”

I did what he said. I ran. And when there was no more ground beneath my feet I kept on running like a cartoon character hanging in mid air. Suddenly the wind caught us and we were lifted up. We soared. I loved my village, but I had a whole new appreciation seeing it this way. As we glided over homes and hills and trees I got to know it more intimately in a way I never could by keeping my feet on the ground. I saw things I had never seen. I was elated.

Jumping off that cliff required a crazy kind of trust. In my self – I’d done my research and chosen the best person available on the best possible day, In him – his skill, his reputation and his personality gave me comfort, and mostly in life itself. Life will give me what it will, and most of it is out of my control.

If you want to fly JUMP.

 

Radical Self Care ~ Pay Yourself First

This is the blog I almost didn’t write. Though the idea came to me the moment I posted my Radical Self Care New Year’s Wish, I dismissed it as too obvious and not worth writing. Everybody knows this, I thought. I told that to a friend who responded, “Write It. We don’t know. If we knew we’d be doing it.”

The “It” is simple…. Pay Yourself First.

It should have been obvious to me that this is a post that needs to be written, perhaps not for you, but for that one person who needs to know it, because it’s been my experience with clients that this is not common knowledge.

Many of my clients make more money than I do. Some make A LOT more. But even some clients who make millions have complained about money fears and stress. It used to surprise me. It no longer does. Clients with nice homes, new cars, great vacations, and beautiful wardrobes looked as if all was well. Upon further investigation, I discovered that these money-anxious clients had little to no savings, credit card debt, and were at times behind in their taxes. The patterns were the same whether their income was $50,000 or over $500,000 a year.  No wonder they were stressed.

How does this happen?

These people aren’t dumb. They’re smart and creative and often doing great things in the world. It’s just that nobody taught them good habits with money.

So here’s one of the things I teach clients about money. Pay Yourself First. Decide on a percentage of your income and put it aside to invest BEFORE you do anything else. When clients say they can’t I recommend a minimum of 10%. It’s a nice easy number to remember and it won’t make a big dent in your lifestyle.

With some of my clients there is much grumbling, followed by explanations that it will be too hard, or that small a percentage won’t be enough to make a difference.  But those who do it, and commit to it, turn their financial situation around in lightening speed. It continues to amaze me how fast it changes things. I believe the primary reasons this is so effective are:

  • You bring consciousness to habits that were previously unconscious.
  • You give yourself a message with every cheque you receive that you value yourself enough to invest in yourself.
  • Priorities change once there is self-worth and consciousness brought to your relationship with money, and that has a systemic impact on spending, saving, and investing.

It’s important to know that this 10% is for investment only ~ something that will give you a return on your money. It’s about having your money work for you. That’s a critical part of this. An investment is not a $400 pair of Manolo Blahnik slippers or a week at a spa, no matter how much you think those will improve your life. If it’s not giving you a financial return, it’s not an investment.

You may think you don’t earn enough to pay yourself first, but if you don’t change your habits now, you’re going to keep spending and living in such a way that you won’t be able to afford it later. I was teaching these same principles to my retail staff in the 90’s who were earning between $7.00 and $12.00 an hour. If they can do it you can do it.

If you want to be smart with large sums of money, start being smart with small sums.

Another great excuse is that you’re an entrepreneur and don’t have a regular income. Spending lots of money when big checks come in and feeling broke when they don’t is like being caught in a dieting spiral of binging and starving and binging again. Neither are loving ways to treat yourself. Setting aside 10% of all your income creates a habit that grows over time, and creates a foundation that will give you peace of mind.

You may think you’ve got too many other things to worry about. You can’t focus on this now. Well, I learned this principle from my mom, along with “never spend more on your credit card than you can pay off completely when the bill comes”, and “have a year of expenses in savings for emergencies”.

You see when my mom was 33 years old my dad left her will all his debts and two kids. She could have crumbled under the pressure. Instead, she got a second, third, and fourth job, then used the extra money to pay off his debts and make investments. She bought her first house when she was 35 years old, and went on to build a real estate portfolio that enabled her to retire at 54 years old. She’s got a great attitude and super-human energy, but it shows you what is possible even in dire situations.

I’ve never been a financial wizard, and I don’t have to be. I make money decisions based on what feels good in my body. I don’t have a big house, expensive clothes, or a fat portfolio. But I do have peace. And a life I cherish ~ living by the beach, walking in the sunshine, spending time doing things I love with people I adore. I don’t work very much, and when I do it is profoundly fulfilling.

At 37 years old I was very sick and was told that I might never work again. I was shocked and scared. I had never expected to quit working so young. I was so very grateful that I had some investments to live on, even if I wasn’t ready to start living on them. I thought I’d have many more years to contribute to them, but you never know what life is going to bring your way. I’m healthy enough to be working again and you bet I’m paying myself first.

Make this a year of Radical Self Care and Pay Yourself First.

P.S. My mom only worked multiple jobs for about 4 years to dump the debt and buy her first house. She is now married to a wonderful man who also enjoys travelling the world and doting on the grandchildren.